This isn't easy to write. In fact, I'm shifting uneasily in my seat as I hunch over the keyboard, feeling an outbreak of hives coming on - and not a little bit of nausea.

The sweat began to form on my upper lip and blotches on the back of my hands when I first started to examine Collingwood's record this season, and how it compared to other celebrated teams down the ages.

The upshot is this - and excuse me if I have to rush off to the bathroom - Collingwood after 18 matches have a better percentage at this stage of the season than any team in the 115 years of VFL/AFL competition.

On pure stats alone, the impartial set of facts and figures by which such feats are judged, this team of Mick Malthouse's stands as the best performed of all time. (Well, three-quarters of the way through the season anyhow.)

With 2216 points scored, and 1191 conceded, the Pies have the the best attack in the league and the best defence. That has combined to produce a percentage of 186.1 - considerably better than the old record held by West Coast 20 years ago (coached by you-know-who), and leaving in the shade the feats of the other 'Galacticos' sides such as Essendon in 2000, Geelong and St Kilda in more recent times and the great Collingwood outfit of 1929.

And this is a team that has abandoned the traditional Collingwood blue-collar, frill-free playing style - no Stan Magro, Kevin Worthington and Ray Byrne types here - and embarked on a gameplan that is powered by a V10 engine room and produces goals by the dozen. They are thrilling to watch, simple as that.

No wonder Malthouse himself takes the opportunity every time a microphone is shoved in his face to talk up the opposition (North Melbourne, Gold Coast, Hawthorn), or say how unlucky they were (Essendon), and generally deflect attention from his world-beaters.

Here then, in black and white, is a list of the teams with the best percentages in VFL/AFL history after 18 matches:

%          Team               W-L     Year
186.1    Collingwood   17-1    2011
171.4    West Coast     16-2    1991
171.7    Collingwood   18-0    1929
164.7    Essendon        18-0    2000
164.3    St Kilda            18-0    2009
162.2    Essendon        17-1    1950
157.2    Collingwood   15-3    1966
157.0    Hawthorn        16-2    1971
153.6    Geelong           17-1    2008
151.9    Hawthorn        16-2    1989
151.4    Geelong           15-3    1931

So as Collingwood saddle up for yet another Friday night 'blockbuster', against yet another 'contender' - in this case, St Kilda - it is time to doff our collective caps and recognise their dominance.

Little wonder AFL legend Kevin Bartlett announced early in the season - to widespread guffawing, it has to be said - the Woodsmen would improve by several percent on last year's premiership-winning form, and go through 2011 undefeated. Well, it hasn't quite panned out like that, but Bartlett can claim a moral victory at the very least.

Collingwood has lost twice since Round 11 last year - to Hawthorn by three points in Round 22 when an element of self-preservation must have come into play ahead of the finals, and to Geelong by three points in Round 8 this year.

Sydney came within a goal of them in Round 14 but that was only after the premiers had frittered away 11 more scoring shots.

It is true that St Kilda is the acknowledged master of making good teams look ordinary. And they'll scrag, harrass and niggle the Pies at Etihad Stadium tomorrow night, and try to throw them out of their Usain Bolt stride.

But, if the last 14 months is any guide, Collingwood will absorb the punishment, see off the best St Kilda has to offer, find their rhythm and then sprint to the line well clear of their hapless opponent. And, in doing so, they'll keep up their charge towards football immortality.