The press release goes like this: "We got these nine riders together for the Tour de France. Each was selected to provide the greatest result for the team. They all respect each other enormously, and understand the team objectives. At night, we hold hands around the table and sing kumbaya."

Right.

And then, one day, when the GC rider punctures, six kilometres from the top of a climb, he asks a teammate for a wheel and the domestique says 'non' and attacks past him.

When this happened during a key moment of Sunday's stage 14 on the Port de Balés, Irishman Nicolas Roche was incredulous. He had been climbing with the lead group, and believed he was in perfect position to finish the stage well.

His Ag2R mate was later castigated by the Director Sportif, and Roche threatened all kinds of violent and unequivocal behaviour, in front of staff and to the media. But it was done.

Spare a thought, though, for the perpetrator of this crime, John Gadret. Maybe he was sick of the team spin, sick of weeks of riding and sacrificing for a rider who had talked up his podium chances and was currently 14th, 8.03 down on the maillot jaune.

Who knows, Gadret's Dad could be the local butcher, he might have said, "son, if you feel good, you should go for it."

Nicolas' father on the other hand, is Stephen Roche.

Including countless race victories, he is most famous for being only the second man to claim the cycling Triple Crown, winning the 1987 Giro d'Italia, the Tour de France and the World Championships.

Maybe Nicolas should go to Axel Merckx's support group, "I Am Not My Father (& I'm Fine With That)."

When it comes to petty games and sulking, nothing goes past the Little Prince, Damiano Cunego, and his former mentor, now hated rival, Gilberto Simoni.

They were teammates in 2004, when Simoni was the former Giro d'Italia winner and Cunego was the boy most likely.

After Cunego sprinted past Simoni to take a stage and eventually the tour overall, Simoni spat at him that he was a 'little bastard' and the two never spoke again.

They are currently riding on the same team (Lampre) but are said to pretend the other is invisible, unless a high paying and ironic advertisement is required, and then they smile and don boxing gloves.

But this inter-team tension has nothing on any squad containing Alexander Vinokourov (Astana).

Vino is notorious for so many reasons: the strange blonde eyebrows, the bullish riding style, the indefatigable aggression, oh, and the positive test for blood doping after winning 2 stages of the 2007 Tour de France.

He denied everything, got banned for a measly 12 months by the Kazakhstan Cycling 'Federation', and faked retirement.

Then he came straight back into his former team, Astana, named after the Kazakh capital, a team shamelessly built around and for Vino. He won the Spring Classic, Liége-Bastogne-Liége this year and stood on the podium to jeering and hateful cowds.

Not Mr Popular with the fans.

More overt, though, is his penchant for creating distrust and confusion amongst his own teammates.

Who could forget the famous dis-unity of Team Telekom, when Mr Deutsche Quadriceps, Jan Ullrich was captain, and his teammate, Vino, seemed like the only opponent in the Tour.

Commentators and competition seemed bemused as Vino attacked inexplicably and Jan chased ferociously.

If only the team had thought to use the 'communication breakdown' excuse that Alberto Contador employed after stage 12 when he chased a solo Vino down, ruining his chances of a stage win.

Vino went on to win the next stage, and Contador duly hugged him and looked appropriately thrilled.

All the hoo-ha about gentlemen's agreements and attacking the yellow jersey. I'd be more worried about a ruthless and disgruntled teammate sabotaging my chances in the third week of the Tour.

(Bridie O'Donnell is an Australian professional rider with UCI Team Valdarno and divides her year between Tuscany and Melbourne. She is Back Page Lead's cycling columnist  - and editor of her own blog, Bridie.com.au.)