LAST Friday, halfway through the double header at Suncorp Stadium, a colleague of mine recounted how he had loudly derided the match officials for the Brisbane-Penrith game in the lift on the way down to the media conference.

Little did he know that video referee Steve Clark was in the same elevator - and none-too-impressed with the rather unconstructive criticism.

"At least," someone - who may or may not have been me - commented, "you didn't shower him with a bucket of spit."

For the uninitiated, that's what St George fans are alleged to have done to Clark when he was a referee in a 1998 finals series match at Kogarah Oval.

Post-joint venture Dragons coach Nathan Brown was later fined by the NRL for suggesting they had not got a fair go from the whistler since.

And that got your columnist to thinking - is it really possible to collect enough phlegm for it to fly out of a bucket at an unsuspecting match official with the desired effect? And how can we ever find this out?

Hence the idea for this column, which can be summed up in two words: Myth Busters!

What we need is a rugby league episode of the American TV show that rigorously checks the veracity of those yarns the yanks call urban legends and we - more subjectively, I guess - refer to as urban myths.

Russell Crowe knows those dudes. He can organise it. Here's how it might run.

Segment one: THE BUCKET OF SPIT. Everyone involved in Myth Busters - from the hosts to the cameramen right down to the janitor - is to spend a whole day hacking in a bucket. When everyone's supply of golly is exhausted, Adam Savage (dressed in a white shirt with a red v) stands on a ladder and attempts to pour it on Jamie Hyneman who has a stripy polo on and a whistle in his mouth.

Predicted outcome: Busted.

Segment two: THE SURGICAL PIN AND THE PLIERS. In 1989, in order to play in a finals game, Penrith centre Chris Mortimer is alleged to have removed a cast from his broken thumb and pulled out the surgical pin with a pair of pliers. Another account says he used a drill. For our test, Savage will smash Hyneman's hand - strapped to a table - with a mallet until it is broken. A pin will be inserted. After one week, Savage will give Hyneman a choice of pliers or a drill while standing in an unhygienic dressing shed.

Predicted outcome: Plausible.

Segment three: SATTLER'S BROKEN JAW. South Sydney legend John Sattler played most of the 1970 grand final with a broken jaw. This time Hyneman will be held by three solid fellows while Savage runs from a distance with a cocked elbow and smashes his jaw. Verification will be by x-ray. He will then play a game of rugby league for the nearest team - probably the Jacksonville Axemen. Predicted outcome: Confirmed (and a lifetime of mental and physical scars for Hyneman).

Segment Four: JOEY'S CORNERPOST CONVERSION: After Sky TV went to an ad break at a Warriors-Newcastle game, Andrew Johns is alleged to have placed the ball near 1 metre from the corner post on the sideline and kicked it in such a way that it curved out over the field of play and then returned to sail between the posts. For this segment, David Beckham, Jonny Wilkinson and Daryl Halligan are guest stars. Each of them has 100 attempts to re-enact the feat.

Predicted outcome: Busted (but I still reckon it happened).

Segment Five: SCHLOSSY'S SHOE. Julian O'Neill's controversial career reached its nadir in 1998 when, after a pre-season game in Dubbo, he boasted "I just shat in Schlossy's shoe". Schloss was team-mate and room-mate Jeremy Schloss. Personally, I always thought Jules would have said ‘shitted' rather than ‘shat'. In any case, the disgust with which the incident was greeted unfairly failed to give Julian credit for the incredible accuracy necessary to perform the feat. There's only one way to test this. Take Savage out for a seven-course curry and then leave him alone in a country motel room with one of Nike's best - and a full camera crew with studio-strength lighting.

Predicted outcome: Confirmed

Come to think of it, I think there could be a whole season in this. The concept could final take rugby league to the world! Tell me your rugby league Myth Busters ideas below....