Docklands murder: suspects wearing black

The Wallabies were simply toyed with on Saturday night at Etihad. Psychologically they look shot against the All Blacks, shown by the way they over-egged the celebrations on getting into the lead early, and the complete dropping of the bundle that followed the New Zealanders' immediate reclamation of the lead. They have now lost eight times in a row to the arch-rival and it is difficult to see where the next win will come from. While the Wallabies are not quite at the level they plumbed in the Greg Smith era in 1996-1997 - when the All Blacks ceased to pay them any respect - there is an urgent need for a rethink; and unfortunately, AMI Stadium in Christchurch this coming Saturday is not a likely place for a turnaround. The loss through suspension of Quade Cooper was a big blow to the side, because the Australians could not run the ball at the New Zealanders as much as they had planned; and the situation Berrick Barnes was put in, where he did not show enough awareness and had a kick charged down straight after Australia had scored its first try, opened the floodgates. First-up tackles were constantly missed and the restarts were a nightmare all evening: Giteau kicked deep to New Zealand every time - why escapes me, can someone enlighten me? - whereas Carter kicked short to aerial contests in the knowledge that New Zealand would win them. So we simply could not get the ball. When we did the swarming New Zealand defence made advantage-line gains brutally difficult; and under the sustained pressure, Australia's discipline cracked. Drew Mitchell was sent off for a schoolboy lack of nous, even captain Elsom was marched back regularly for back-chatting the referee. I was at my godson's 100th Australian Rules match yesterday and his Under-14 coach told the boys "nothing good can come for the team from you back-chatting the umpire." I hope that Robbie Deans has pointed this out to the Wallabies. Deans is not Greg Smith, but his team now is in an even bigger hole than that one.

No ifs or Butts about it

Pakistan captain Salman Butt doesn't owe England any favours, but after copping a walloping from them at Trent Bridge, the gritty opener rated the English attack "more dangerous" than its Australian counterpart at present - after only 23 balls' exposure to it in the Test. Given that Butt averages 50 against Australia, compared to 31.6 in all Tests, he has a big incentive to spruik the Australian attack as the toughest to face and hardest to score against, but no, he went for honesty. At the moment I have to say I agree with him. James Anderson has the ball talking, since Australia convinced Stuart Broad he was world-class by falling in a heap against him he has believed it, newcomer Steve Finn is fast and accurate and Graeme Swann has developed into one of the best wicket-taking spinners going around. In contrast Australia is struggling with the ball. When the English arrive in October, what we will have going for us is that the only member of their current attack that has played here - Anderson - was poor last time, with five wickets at 82.6. We can also expect that, notwithstanding the fact that they're going to train with the Kookaburra balls after the Pakistan series, the English newcomers will face as much difficulty adapting to Australian conditions as has now become standard for Australia's fast men in England. Let's hope that certain members of the Australian attack can adapt to Australian conditions, too.

Storm lives up to its name

Canberra coach David Furner left Melbourne a frustrated man, as yet again a team with much more to play for failed to match Storm's spirit. Although Melbourne had put in a couple of shockers recently, they appeared rejuvenated in the hail, rain and wind yesterday, and clearly are going to relish spoiling the finals aspirations of any team they gave here on in. When the Storm gets it right they are murderous on teams that have not turned up properly motivated. Sadly Greg Inglis is showing how much he will be missed, but it's great for Melbourne fans to see someone like teenage winger Justin O'Neill revelling in playing first-grade, shouting his love of the team's culture from the rooftops and showing that there is a future. David Gallop and the NRL heavyweights would not necessarily admit it, but the Storm is providing a great ingredient for a bit of late-season spice in the lead-up to the NRL finals - a team with wreckage on its mind. When you play them, the only points on offer are lost points for you - it's no wonder that David Furner was so aggrieved.

Hand of God not to guide ‘Roos

Robbie Slater has moved seamlessly from the football playing field to the commentary booth, where he is an excellent, thoughtful pundit; but his suggestion at the weekend that the FFA should seek the services of one Diego Armando Maradona, an unemployed Argentinian, as coach of the Socceroos is not a good one. As Slater says, Maradona was popular with his players, and he would provide the Socceroos with plenty of publicity, but the reason I don't think he would work as Australia coach is tactics. Maradona's game plan with Argentina was simple: give it to Messi, and get out of the way. We don't have a Messi.

Schoolkids turn on a cracker

I saw my first-ever game of APS (Associated Public Schools) football on Saturday and it was an eye-opener, a tremendous atmosphere and a high-quality game in a fluky breeze. The occasion was the 2010 "Grand Final": the APS does not have a Grand Final, but the season panned out such that Wesley College and Caulfield Grammar School played in the last round, and the winner would be premier. So from 2 pm on Saturday, the Alf Mills Oval at Caulfield Grammar was surrounded with people five or six deep, watching two very talented First XVIIIs go at it in a pulsating contest. The noise made by the two camps of students - who migrated to their respective scoring ends at each break - would have done justice to an AFL final. In the end Wesley's athletic big men won them the day, owning the corridor and forcing a smaller Caulfield team wide in a convoluted path to goal. "The Pride" (so named for the lions on the jumpers) took out its first premiership in 31 years, by 11 points. The game had everything: screamers, pace, hard tackling and a late comeback making for an exciting finish. We will see a few of these kids in the AFL: Caulfield onballer Dylan Shiel is headed to Greater Western Sydney, and you could be certain that AFL clubs were well-represented in the crowd - and that the likes of Caulfield's Tom Bugg and Sebastian Gotch (son of ex-Lion Brad), and Wesley's Tom Curran (son of ex-Hawk and Bear Peter) and Ben Durrow would have caught the eye.