Ten in a row. OK, that'll be it ladies and gentlemen, there's not much more to see here. Get ready to move along please. Thanks for coming.

Time to bring this nonsense to a conclusion.

Yes, yes, I know there's a Bledisloe Cup game to be played in Hong Kong on October 30, but let's face it, at this stage, the prospect of seeing the Wallabies risk losing their 11th in succession to the All Blacks is about as appealing as watching Pakistan play cricket.

So I say, let's wrap it up. Uncover the podium, get Bert Newton out here, let's do the awards ceremony and get the hell on our way.

First, the big picture. (Note to self: commence power-point presentation. And smile, dammit).

Despite the annoying success of the New Zealanders and the Australians' horrible habit of marching off a cliff like lemmings in the second half of games, it's been a positive international and provincial season in the southern hemisphere.

Wonderful player depth in South Africa, peak performance from an exceptional Kiwi squad; the unearthing of a few young Australian gems, and most importantly the game is getting its groove on again. (NTS: Wait for applause to die down).

On early evidence, the clubs in domestic competitions in the north are yet to fully embrace the attacking creed thankfully impaled on the game by the All Blacks, Wallabies and Queensland this season, but the power of the message from the south is irresistible and the clearer heads in Britain, Ireland and France will react soon with the World Cup less than a year away.

Australia, New Zealand and South Africa head north in November, giving them a chance to spread the new gospel but as importantly, the opportunity to cement combinations and confirm the right players, coaches and support staff are in place in the run down to the World Cup (Good luck with that Springboks).

But while we have a pause in proceedings - and without completely ignoring our northern friends and the Poms -- let's reflect on some of the positives and standouts so far this season from an Australian perspective.

The envelopes please! Thank you, Ms Rice and may I say you look fetching despite the duct tape over your mouth and around your twit-ter fingers?

Let's start with the big one: The Gold Bogus: Australia's player of the year regardless of criminal charges, crap quotes, dismal haircuts and pitiful defence -- and there's certainly a few contenders this year, Bert.

But there can only be one winner: The Gold Bogus trophy and the award of a lucrative rugby league contract plus his very own, never pre-owned laptop, goes to future Parramatta Eel, Quade Cooper.

Well done Quade. Thanks Stephanie, you can let him go now. Thanks ... um ... Stephanie.

Moving right along. Before we celebrate other achievements by the players, let's recognise the expertise of our coaches and have a cruel laugh at Peter de Villiers. (NTS: Wait for guffaws to die down).

The coach of the year wins a season's supply of emergency medical attention, a copy of the Afrikaans best-seller, English As A Language Second, membership of Chris Pash's cliché of the week club and an invitation to a weekend workshop based on the book: How to Say a Whole Lot of Nothing by Julia Gillard (as told to Tony Abbott).

Right, the envelope please. Thank you, Thierry. Oh, there's a note here. Apparently this was a two horse race and the judges -- the French World Cup soccer team - had great trouble separating them.

Graham Henry was right there at the end, but the judges wisely decided he was just too much a New Zealander. So the gong goes to Ewen McKenzie, the Queensland coach whose decision to cover his eyes when Cooper had the ball transformed the Reds from perennial losers to, well, not so much.

OK, back to the player awards: The Australian Tight Forward of the Year.

This award has a long history of being passed in because of the lack of worthy contenders so organisers this year opted to combine it with the Australian Forward of the Year gong, won annually for decades by George Smith until his recent international retirement.

Anyway, this is one to cherish even though there's no actual prizes, as it's for forwards whose rich reward is the opportunity to play on the same paddock as those flashy backs.

Yes, and there's no doubt about the winner - veteran second rower Nathan Sharpe by a mile despite David Pocock's tremendous form and the fact that Sharpe plays for the disturbingly unattractive Western Force club, which reminds me: on behalf of the team's supporters thanks for the memory Mitch (there's one from 2008, I think) and good luck in Jo'Burg buddy. Much more like home in Hamilton than stinky old sun-drenched Perth, I'd imagine.

OK, they're dimming the lights - ha, it's like Canberra on a Saturday night - the producers are urging me to get a wriggle on so here goes.

Here's a couple of gooduns: The Australian Back of the Year who isn't Quade Cooper goes to Will Genia while for the 25th year straight the most votes for the Player Most Missed by the Wallabies goes to Mark Ella who has kindly agreed to share it with James Horwill, Wycliff Palu and Digby Ioane. Limp up to the stage gentlemen and relish the applause.

Game of the Year - Australia against South Africa in Pretoria with an honourable mention to the Crusaders and the Bulls for their week 13 Super battle.

Team of the Year: looks bloody obvious on paper but when everything is consider this is a tough one. In the end, using my executive powers and fueled by latent malice towards Kiwis, I decided on a draw between the all conquering All Blacks and the Two Blues of Parramatta in Sydney, after-all it's not clear whether it's more difficult to turn up and win every match or to lose every match and keep turning up.

One or two more before we turn over the floor to tonight's comedic entertainment -- the guy who sang the South African national anthem prior to the test in France last year.

Here's a new one: the Building Understanding Between the Sexes award goes to Wallaroo Nicole Beck for her awesome cover tackle in the women's world cup semi against England.

Hey, and just to prove we're not totally Australian-centric, congratulations to Sunny Boy Will ... what? Oh, I mean Sonny Bill Williams for taking the glory for coming up with the most ingenious method in recovering from injury - that's right, hitting the ski slopes.

The much vaunted "Cheater" trophy has gone to Richie McCaw ever since he was in the under fives, but we have new surprise joint-winners this year - Harlequins winger Tom Williams and club doctor Wendy Chapman for the bloodgate scandal.

Sensational dishonesty from all parties as the Doc deliberately cut the player's lip at his request to cover up a plan to fake an injury. Just despicable.

Anyhoo, a couple of quick predictions before we head to the pool. Melbourne will win the Super 15 and rugby will displace Australian rules as Victoria's premier sport next year. OK, just kidding. But I have a good feeling about Adelaide.

Also, the All Blacks won't choke at the World Cup next year. They will however be flogged by vastly superior sides, peaking at just the right time.

See you in Honkers.