Ten Winners

FIFA executives: As always, world football's version of the Bilderberg Group will reap massive benefits from their "work."

Al Jazeera: Qatari-based television network somehow had the World Cup result before Sepp Blatter actually announced it.

Aeroflot: One of the world's dodgiest airlines will have the responsibility of transporting World Cup players and fans throughout Russia in 2018.

The AFL and NRL: They won't admit it, but both organisations would be over the moon about not having to deal with those pesky soccer people.

Major League Baseball: Spared the embarrassment of being outrated by World Cup games in 2022.

Foreign fans in 2018: Russia has promised to waive Visa requirements for World Cup visitors.

David Beckham: Once again showed his class with thoughtful, honest and gracious comments after England's failed bid.

Andrey Arshavin: Arsenal's Russian midfielder cried during his speech. It worked.

Middle East tourism: The decision should do wonders for a region of the world still considered off limits by many tourists.

World football haters: Failed US and Australian bids adds fuel to the fire for those in both countries who dislike the world game.

Ten Losers

Australia's bid team: Somehow convinced the Australian public that Australia was in with a chance.

Phillip Noyce: Showing trailers from Patriot Games or Rabbit Proof Fence would have been just as effective.

Fans who went to viewing sites like Federation Square: Watching a World Cup match in the middle of the night is one thing. Watching an announcement where Australia gets just one vote is like being waterboarded.

The environment: I'm not a scientist and don't play one on TV, but I can't imagine that a bunch of new, air-conditioned stadiums in the desert will be good for the global climate.

FFA: They put all their eggs in one basket, and now face the prospect of shoring up the struggling A-League without the promise of a World Cup on the horizon.

World Cup fans who like to party: No offense to Qatar, but if you're a travelling fan who likes to (in the words of Spinal Tap's Viv Savage) "have a good time all the time," Australia and the US are far better destinations than Qatar.

Unattractive Russian women: Either there aren't any or they were all shipped to Siberia during shooting of Russia's promotional film.

Morgan Freeman: No opportunity to say "Let's do another take" when he skipped a page during his presentation.

BBC's Panorama and The Sunday Times: Dug up dirt on FIFA and, while important from a journalistic standpoint, both will probably cop some blame for England's failed bid.

TV and radio news services: Will struggle to come up with the best way to pronounce "Qatar."