(Jair Butler is a football fan and BPL contributor.)

Andy Williams loves Football.

Now, let's just sit a while and wait for those non-believers to flick open a new window and Google that fact. Go on, we'll still be here when you return ...

In the meantime, can you believe that the Dandenong Market donut van wasn't ranked in yesterday's top 5 by The Age foodies? Come on! They're selling bags of powdered diabetes there for $6 each, and that doesn't deserve some kind of gong? Not to mention the scores of second-degree burns to the chin and index fingers they have meted - statistically on a par with bed-smoking.

Anyway, how'd that search turn out? I'll bet you've found that there are numerous Andy Williams', past and present, including the drummer from Mancunian geniuses Doves. Now you're thinking.

This morning's early hours brought the summer transfer window to a close, and with it the usual posturing, poaching and penny-pinching we've come to expect. Here's to highlight a few of the highlights. In yellow, preferably.

-  At least two home matches are expected to be played in an empty Delle Alpi as Juve fans are sanctioned for hooting displeasure at new signing Eljero Elia's choice of barber.

-  That enormous specimen Joe Cole travels to Lille-put money on a strong showing away to Blefuscu.

-  Scott Parker has moved across to North London, having signed with 'Spurs. Remember when he was an Addick? Everything was much purer then; and cheaper too.

-  Atletico have filled the void up front left by Kun Aguero and more recently Diego Forlan by signing VfL Wolfsburg disappearing act Diego, and Falcao from FC Porto. Fal-Who, you say? Ask Chelsea, City and Real next summer; the kid scores goals for fun.

-  Speaking of Wolfsburg, the German club have loaned in every 19th century author's favourite, he Alexandre Hleb, of Apple-Cheek, whilst loaning out Simon Kjaer to AS Roma. Seems Kjaer was surplus to the Felix Magath clean-up of the steaming pile left by Steve McLaren last term, which begs the question, why would he and his Danish teammates bother wearing gloves?

-  Germany international Per Mertesacker (pictured, above) has filled the gaping void in the Arsenal's back four. For the uninitiated, he's blonde, German and 6'6" - Tomorrow certainly Belongs To him.

-  Peter Crouch takes his robot to Stoke. Suddenly the Britannia isn't so frightening. End transmission.

-  OMG, SWP at QPR.

-  Yeah, yeah: Raul Meireles moved to Chelsea, Craig Bellamy to Liverpool, Yossi Benayoun to the Arsenal, Owen Hargreaves to City, Bendtner to the Stadium of Light, Pjanic to Roma - but really, where's the fun in all that? The real news is that former Brummie Scott Dann is a Blackburn Rover. Look out 17th place!

Ahh, the summer transfer window. It's the most won-der-ful time of the Year.